Since I started blogging more consistently last summer, I’ve fallen in love with it. I love the community and the friends I’ve made. I love being able to go back and read my old blogs and see exactly how much has gone on in the past year. I love documenting the little things which I’d probably forget otherwise. I like that I can share my life and connect with others who relate.
I think writing about my life, thoughts, and experiences on a semi-daily basis has also helped me to learn more about myself too. It’s helped me to get back in touch with my more creative side and its forced me to address some of the issues I have with time management. What I’ve noticed lately, however, is how it’s revealed to me something I’m lacking.
Now, I’m not talking about what I’m lacking compared to others… we all know that if we compare ourselves against other people we can find 1,000,000 + 1 things “lacking”. I’m talking about how I perceived myself vs how I actually am.
I’ve come to find that I don’t have enough confidence in myself. Now, my self-confidence isn’t at an all time low. I believe in myself: I can get just about any job done and my work is something to be proud of. I believe that I am intelligent in the manner of being thoughtful and I have strong opinions. I’m not afraid to talk to anyone and I don’t feel insecure in my space.
So what kind of confidence am I referring to? I’m talking about the kind of confidence required to grow my reading audience. You see… there’s something about blogging that I don’t love. I don’t know what to call it except “self-promotion”. Basically, I’m talking about putting myself out there. Eeek. It’s not that it bothers me when others do it, I understand that it is vital to growing your business/brand/blog. It’s just that it is difficult for me to do.
Although blogging is what brought this to my attention, it doesn’t just apply to my blog. I think I struggle with putting myself out there in general. I struggle with saying things like “yes I am the best person for the job” or “my input is important.” I have tendencies to second guess myself. What if I am not the best for the job? What if my input is way off base?
I wish I could be noble and say that all this is due to my extreme humility… but truthfully it’s likely the opposite. I think the heart of the issue is the fear of rejection. And where does the fear of rejection originate? Pride. Honestly, I think the fear of being embarrassed from rejection or being wrong comes from the my own self-pride. Maybe the best advice for that is simply: get over yourself. Maybe believing that people want to read about me not the me that tries extra hard, but the me in truest form. Maybe people are not ready to pounce on my errors, but genuinely curious about what I have to say.
I think it’s important to care what others think in some situations, but when it comes to being your true self, caring too much what others think can mean stunted growth. If we are scared of rejection, we never try, so we neither fail or succeed. Growth comes from success and more often it come from failure, but it never comes from staying in our comfort zones. If I want to grow, I have to be uncomfortable for at least a little while. This applies in all walks of life.
I’ve found the best way to overcome my fear of rejection, is to just do it. Rip the band-aid off. Hit enter. Don’t overthink it. For the love of Pete, DON’T OVERTHINK IT. The more I do it, the easier it will become (I hope). The softer rejection will feel (I hope). Letting my insecurity and pride run the show won’t make for anything exciting. I will never reach my full potential.
My goals for my career and life in general are going to involve taking risks. Coming out on stage without the reassurance of an applause. The hope for an applause, but no guarantee of one. Still, I can’t let the fear keep me backstage.
So you tell me:
Does this sound familiar to you? Is putting yourself out there terrifying or just plain uncomfortable?
If this isn’t familiar to you… what’s your secret?!