Marriage: one, but still two

Attending a wedding recently got me thinking about all things marriage-related (and about how dang sweet it is to find your mate).

I have always been told that marriage is two individuals coming together to be one.
The odd thing is that even though two become one, there are still two very much so individuals. The more you spend time with someone the more apparent the differences become. Not major differences necessarily, but little ones that make me go stop and think (because I think a lot of thoughts). For example, one night on the way home Terry asked me what I was thinking about and I listed several things like marriage, individualism, and thought processes. I asked Terry the same question and he said “the road and how I am tired”. It made me see how even in the quiet moments our minds are operating in totally different ways. So how do two minds that have their own beat come together in perfect harmony?
Still figuring it out. My guess is it must be easy to give up, thus people decide to forget about it and don’t stick it out.
Not understanding your spouse can be incredibly frustrating. Not understanding why they respond in a certain way, like acting completely unmoved by a joke or a sad part on Parks and Rec. Yet, taking the time to better understand them is incredibly rewarding. I have found it especially helpful to ask Terry questions like “why does [] make you feel []” or “what were you thinking when [] was said or [] happened?” Better knowing these things helps me to feel less frustrated when I don’t get the way he is acting. I have to remind myself that as an individual my mood fluctuates a good bit throughout the day- the mood of others likely do the same and not likely in rhythm with my fluctuations.
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Sometimes I wonder if I will always be confused by his responses, but then I remember we have not even been married for 10 months! This is the learning process- and it takes time. One thing I do know for sure is that I want to learn. Individuals are pretty complex beings- even when they seem simple. What’s neat is that I get the rest of my life to learn all about just one (special individual).

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