Confessions of a Youth Pastor’s Wife

It’s no secret that I adore my husband. He has a big heart and always knows how to make me smile: surprising me with gifts, doing the dishes while I am at work, and ironing my clothes when he thinks they look to wrinkly to be seen in public.
Something else I love is how seriously he takes his call to be a youth pastor. (I began to say “job”, but “call” seems much more fitting.)

Like I have said, being a youth pastor’s wife is awesome. It pushes me to make relationships with people in my church family and stay on track in my own spiritual life. I love our students- they are all so different and unique in their gifts. It is a collection of teenagers that probably wouldn’t all be in the same place any other time. Yet, as a group we are building what we call a family despite our differences. There are so many positive things to say about being “married” into ministry.
So what’s not so positive?
Easy- the undeniable, unavoidable truth that the burden of souls weigh heavily upon the ministry. This isn’t exactly “negative”, but it is certainly not easy or taken lightly. For Terry, I have seen that sometimes this burden can be almost overbearing.
When students seem disconnected or apathetic toward the lesson or whatever is going on, it is hard not to take it personally. I want so badly for them to get it and understand the message of Christ, but they have choose this for themselves. I can’t help but notice when particular students are absent, especially if it’s for more than one service. Being a teenager, there is so much pulling you a million different places and often times far from church. Sometimes these students don’t have any support at home either, much less their friends.
Seeing students come and go is common, but it still hurts. There’s the constant question of “did I not do enough?” The time and effort Terry puts toward bringing quality lessons that are strong and relatable sometimes doesn’t come through for some people.
The pain associated with being a pastor is sometimes unknown. Though he does have a very fun job, hanging out with teens and playing games, the burden is still there. And I hurt for him. So seeing him hurt for his lost teens, is easily the most difficult aspect. It is so important that we rely on God for strength and guidance. Human strength alone just wouldn’t cut it.

With all of this in mind, would I trade my place anything else? Not a chance.

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