In my previous post, “Embracing Adulthood: Part I,” I talked about changing my routine in a way that will make me appear older and more professional. I want to take myself seriously as a young professional and I want others to as well. I know that to do this, I have to give a little more attention to my outside appearance. I understand how important first impressions are. Yet, that post was about more than professionalism. It was also about becoming an adult, the woman I was made to be.
Now, I want to talk about some areas that I want to grow in and some changes I want to make in my own life. Looking the part may be important, but it is certainly not enough.
–I want to pursue relationships and maintain the relationships I already have. Relationships as an adult require work. I am unlikely to run into or randomly see most of my closest friends. Therefore, I want to make a point to keep in touch and regularly check-in on loved ones. I care so much about the people in my life, so I am willing to make the effort to stay close. I just have to be intentional and thoughtful. (Easier said than done). Also, I need to make the effort to make more friends in the place where I am at now. In some ways, this seems like more work than it is worth, but I know that to be completely untrue. I have read a lot of articles about how wives of pastors often feel lonely and isolated. I do not want this to be me- especially when there are so many lonely people in the world needing friends.
–I want to learn the role of a mentor. As youth pastor’s wife, I work with a lot of teenagers and young college students. It would not be hard for me to distance myself and let Terry do all the ministry work, but I am not willing to just sit back. Being a pastor’s wife feels like a calling, something God specifically made me for. I want to develop relationships with our students and walk alongside them as they grow. Having been a teenager not too long ago, I desperately want to see them earnestly seek God. I desire to learn how to encourage them in a way that will point them to a better life.
–I want to live without the need for recognition. Being a product of the academic system, I am used to competing for different titles and positive marks for my work. Early on, I loved this. I loved seeing myself achieve and make my way to the top. Sometime around my junior year of college, however, I grew a little sickened by it. All the cut throat competitiveness and striving just for a grade began to seem trivial. I want to learn because learning is good, knowledge can be life-changing. I don’t want to strive just for recognition or good marks. This desire to live without recognition extends beyond the academic realm. I no longer want to do things for others or for myself just so that I can be thanked or have some kind of reward, tangible or intangible. I want to keep my eyes on Christ, so that He can have all that glory. I want to be a good wife to Terry, because it is my duty to be a good wife. Not so he will love me more or do me a favor in return.
–I want to expand my passions. I am passionate about many things- social justice, public health, community service, the outdoors, delicious and healthy food, my family, and writing. For too long I have been consumed by school, then exhausted because of school. I never really achieved the right sense of balance that I would like. Even though I am about to begin graduate school, which will likely be even more consuming, I want to begin making a conscious effort to pursue my passions in some shape or form. It may start slowly, but I do not want to the live the adult life that includes no personal passions outside of work.
-I want to experience life fully and completely. No more living day to day without really thinking about the glory of life. I want to be engaged in the world around me and feel experiences without distraction. This means not using my phone so much, not making to-do lists in my head while talking to others, and not walking so hurriedly with my head down. It means taking it all in, moment by moment, making decisions that are the most life-giving, and truly appreciating the work of the Creator.