Before we married, one of the hardest things about living in separate parts of the state was saying goodbye at night. Terry and I both agreed that spending the night together should wait until we were married, so we always tried to suck every bit of enjoyment out of the daylight.
Needless to say, moving in together was a huge deal. We both admitted that we sometimes worried we would end up not liking each other. What if I actually annoyed him was I was around 24/7?
After discussing this mostly un-grounded fear, we came to our senses. We had been together for over four years- if we didn’t like each other, we would have figured it out by now. Still, moving in together would present new challenges and life lessons.
There was no way for us to know what living together would be like until we did it.
Here are five things I’ve learned so far:
1. It is nice to have someone around, even in the silence.
For the majority of our dating years, Terry and I were in a long-distance relationship (LDR). I will have to share with you the trials faced in an LDR on a later post. The number one thing I look forward to about getting married is simply BEING together for more than one day or one weekend at a time. Now, we can hang-out on the couch without talking and feel like were bonding. Kind of hard to do that over the phone. I was right to be most excited about this- it is definitely my favorite part.
2. It is fun to cook for someone (whose taste are completely different than mine).
I love to cooking- using unique ingredients and making fun food. While health is a huge factor for me when cooking meals and other goods, the husband is much more concerned with taste and what kind of meat is involved. Before getting married, stir-fried spicy cabbage, drippy eggs, and avocado toast was a typical dinner for me. However, I have a new mouth to feed, so I have been aiming to please the man and still fill our plates with veggies. Though it is challenging, it is a fun challenge. Terry has loved trying new foods and I am loving the challenge of winning his taste buds’ approval.
3. Quiet time makes sense.
Even though I am outgoing and love people (HUMANS ROCK), I am quite the introvert in that I need “me” time in order to recharge. Before living with Terry, however, I probably got too much “me” time, leading me to talk the head off of whoever was the first person to strike a conversation with me. Now that I am living with a human being who is there to talk pretty much all the time, the long walks outside and early mornings of drinking coffee and reading are even more appreciated. When “me” time and “us” time are balanced out, getting back from a long walk or Terry finally rolling out of the bed in the morning feels like Christmas.
4. It is important to hold your own from the beginning.
One of our first decisions as newlyweds was that I would do the dishes and Terry would do the laundry. It was an easy decision, because we each despise doing the other chore. (Though I do love a hot pile of fresh laundry, but to sink into, not fold). Anyways, there is a ton more that needs to be done, besides just laundry and dishes. While Terry is a mean mopper/sweeper, I can do that sometimes too. I can’t just think “man, Terry really needs to clean this table off” and wait for him to do it. I have two capable hands. Yes, I am totally guilty of allowing the college dorm trash can to overflow just to see if anyone would actually take it out (verdict- nope), but I can’t be like that as a wife! Basically, we have to be a team. We need to each be conscious of caring for the home equally.
5. Inside jokes galore.
A downfall of a LDR is that you don’t really develop many insiders too often. Think about it- no watching TV together, no hanging out with people together, no people-watching together- so there really aren’t many opportunities for inside jokes. Now, though, we are rolling in them. There is plenty of laughing the Bennett household.
These are just five of the many things I have observed so far. Not at all everything, but just a few to give you an idea of what living together has taught me.